Many women struggle with a lack of confidence, worthiness and self-esteem. Much of that is due to an inability to love and accept themselves. Not just as a person, but as a woman.
Not only is the feminine devalued in society as a whole, but some women experienced this directly. For instance:
- When a woman is raised in a home that was predominately male or where males were the preferred gender and got special treatment or attention for being male.
- Or if her monthly cycles were considered a mess, a nuisance and a sign of weakness.
- Perhaps she was sexually abused as a child and resented her female body and saw it as vulnerable and easy to be taken advantage of.
- Maybe she didn’t see herself as feminine because she didn’t have the curvy body commonly associated with women.
- Or maybe it didn’t happen until later in life when she realized that the patriarchal structure of the workplace shunned a woman’s openness, emotionality and creativity and so she denied aspects of her femininity.
Either way, some women have disliked or resented being a woman or at the very least, felt that they weren’t good enough.
And not liking who you are can certainly undermine your confidence, feelings of worthiness and your self-esteem.
So, what can a woman do to build herself up?
Here are 10 ways to better love and accept yourself:
1. Find your soul sisters
“When women support each other, incredible things happen.” ~ Source unknown
You need to find your tribe.
Women are meant to be together. To help each other out. To empower one another.
Surround yourself with women who love and support you and have your back.
Not everyone has a supportive family and that’s why your tribe is so important.
When we connect with our “sisters”, we discover that we are stronger together than we are alone.
Suggestion: stop associating with women that are jealous, resentful, complainers and/or who aren’t in alignment with who and what you want to be and do.
2. Ask for what you need and want
“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
Women are natural caregivers, so we are always giving and always doing for others. Women need to learn to be good at receiving too, otherwise, we become depleted.
When a woman is over-giving and over-doing she is coming from a place of low self-esteem. She is trying to earn love and affection, so she becomes a compulsive giver and pleaser.
Her worthiness is then based on what she can do for others and the appreciation she gets from others.
You don’t have to prove yourself and you don’t have to earn love. And you certainly don’t have to do everything for everyone.
Learn to ask for what you want and need.
It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It’s a sign of strength to be able to recognize that you need it and can ask for it.
Suggestion: Ask and you shall receive. Whether it’s for a raise at work, to be treated with respect, to have better sex or to have some quiet ME time, it’s up to YOU to ask for it. If you don’t, nobody else will do it for you!
Ask yourself what you need… daily… and then make sure you receive it! If you don’t ask, you likely won’t receive it. But when you do ask, you’re giving others the opportunity and pleasure of doing something nice for you. Don’t deny them.
3. Get rid of what doesn’t serve you
“If it doesn’t nourish your soul, get rid of it.” ~ Source unknown
It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship, a lifestyle or a job. If it doesn’t make you happy, let it go.
Women will often accept less than and allow others to walk all over her and generally take advantage of her. Therefore, she further compounds her lack of worthiness.
A woman who loves herself would not accept that kind of treatment. Remember…
You teach others how to treat you and what you allow will continue.
Suggestion: In a toxic relationship? End it. Are you tired and in poor physical shape? Do something about it. Do you hate your job? Try to find another one. Are you surrounded by clutter? Get rid of it.
No matter what it is, if it’s sucking the life out of you, stop doing it!
4. Practice self-love
“As women, we’re nurturers by nature. We want to make sure everyone is happy. That’s a good thing, but we also have to put ourselves on that happiness list.” ~ Victoria Osteen
You owe yourself the love that you give so freely to others.
Suggestion: Speak kindly to yourself. Forgive yourself. Take time for yourself. Nourish your body. Respect your body. Self-pleasure. Give yourself a hug… you deserve it.
5. Know your own beauty
“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” ~ Sophia Lauren.
The fact that you are a woman already means that you’re beautiful.
Your beauty is not defined by others… it is defined by you.
Love your body for the beautiful and sacred vessel that it is.
Suggestion: Take care of it. Nourish it with healthy food, get plenty of sleep, make time for joyful movement, take care of your skin, and do your best to look your best.
6. Know your own worth
“I believe that worthiness is our birthright.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
The fact that you were born means that you are worthy.
When you know your own worth, nobody can make you feel worthless.
The key is to have the self-confidence to believe it.
You belong and you deserve love. You don’t need to earn it or prove yourself worthy.
Positive affirmations can help you to accept this… if you don’t already.
Suggestion: You can say to yourself…
- I am deserving, worthy and entitled to success and happiness.
- I’m special because there is nobody else like me.
- I believe in myself and my ability to figure things out.
- I possess extraordinary gifts and talents that only I can bring to this world
7. Nurture your inner goddess
“Each time that you allow your inner goddess to radiate outwards, you’re the glow in the dark for someone else.” ~ Lyn Thurman
In tantra (ancient Indian spiritual teachings), the masculine reveres the feminine… and rightfully so!
The feminine energy is divine because it represents life and the power of creation.
Our divinity is the creative, loving, vital flow of life force that we are a part of and are connected to.
Accept that you’re a goddess and a divine creation. Nurture it by surrounding yourself with beauty, being fully present in the things you do, listening to your heart and following your instincts.
Suggestion: If you want to feel like a goddess, start acting like one. A goddess creates, has fun and follows her passions. She treats sex as sacred and uses it to nourish herself and her relationship.
8. Indulge in pleasure
“Pleasure is the direct antidote to the crisis of confidence and powerlessness women are currently experiencing.” ~ Regena Thomashauer
Experiencing pleasure is key to your health, but also to your happiness. Women need to feel pleasure to be joyful.
When we indulge in pleasure, we feel good and we feel better about ourselves. And by replenishing ourselves, we are more inclined to seek what we desire and have the energy to do so.
Suggestion: Do things that make you happy. Take pleasure in the simple things in life. Enjoy a stroll in nature. Have sex. Eat fruit. Laugh. Do whatever feels good. And do it often.
9. Act the part
The more you act like a lady, the more he’ll act like a gentleman.” ~ Sydney Biddle Barrows.
When a woman embraces her femininity, men are naturally drawn to her. In fact, it is her femininity that brings out their masculinity.
Masculinity should not be some model of greatness to aspire to. Women were not created to do everything a man can do. Women were created to do everything a man can’t do.
Suggestion: Embrace your vulnerability, your emotions and your capacity for love. Men have difficulty with their feelings, so they require our support to access them. In addition, men want to serve and protect women, so let them, and then praise them for what they do for us.
10. Dress the part
“Your dresses should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show you’re a lady.” ~ Grace Kelly.
If you want to look and feel like a woman, you should dress like one.
Suggestion: Wear clothes that fit your body, not hide it, and that accentuate your femininity and allow you to move gracefully.
Skirts and dresses are more feminine than pants. That’s not to say that you can’t wear pants, but skirts and dresses really do separate you from the men… in a good way! Plus, they’re a great way to showcase your legs and flaunt those sexy new shoes!
Soft and touchable fabrics will feel nice against your skin. Wearing some pretty lingerie underneath will connect you with your sensuality. I know that I feel more beautiful and elegant when I wear dresses and nice undergarments. Give it a try.
Loving and accepting yourself is understanding that you matter and that you’re enough… just the way you are.
Photo Credit: stock.adobe.com/ Dash