The short answer to that is YES!! Personal lubricant is a must have!
There are many reasons why you may need… and even want… to use lubricant.
Here’s why you may need lubricant…
This is when the genital response doesn’t match the perceived sexual arousal.
A woman can feel aroused, but she may not be “wet”. And a woman can produce vaginal lubrication, even when she doesn’t think she’s aroused.
But the moral of the story…
You CAN be turned on and NOT have vaginal wetness.
While you can have occasional arousal non-concordance, if it’s happening all the time, then maybe that’s not the reason.
Some women simply need more time to go from mentally aroused to physically aroused.
Therefore, more time spent in foreplay on erogenous zones other than the genitalia will give your body more time to catch up.
Variations between women
Some women simply don’t produce as much vaginal lubrication as others.
This is perfectly normal and certainly nothing to be worried about or ashamed of.
Sometimes the cause is hormonal. Decreases in estrogen levels can occur in many stages of a woman’s life.
- after childbirth
- during breastfeeding
- during perimenopause (the years prior to actual menopause)
- post-menopause (once a woman has not menstruated for a period of one year).
Low estrogen is the most common culprit for loss of vaginal lubrication.
This can also lead to a thinning of the vaginal walls.
A lack of vaginal lubrication and/or vaginal thinning can cause pain during intercourse.
Here are some ways to improve lubrication:
Use a Personal Lubricant
A topical lubricant is the easiest way to improve comfort and sexual pleasure.
Buy ones with natural ingredients. Organic, if possible. You don’t want to be adding chemicals to your vulva!
Lubricant should be unscented and unflavoured. Otherwise, it can cause irritation to your delicate vaginal tissue.
Lubricants can be water-based, oil-based, silicone-based or a hybrid.
Water-based ones are less messy and can be used with latex condoms and most sex toys. However, they can also dry out quicker and require more application.
Oil-based ones last longer and are water-proof, but they can’t be used with latex condoms or silicone sex toys. Doing so can degrade the condom and increase the risk of pregnancy and infection. And ruin your silicone sex toys.
Silicone-based lubricants last longer than the water-based ones and are safe for use with most condoms but not with silicone sex toys.
Hybrid lubricants have the benefits of both water and silicone.
Tip: My personal favourite is Organics Silk Hybrid Lubricant by Sliquid. Botanically infused with natural ingredients for a natural silky and creamy texture.
Use Coconut oil
Coconut oil is an excellent massage oil. It’s also a great lubricant for self-pleasuring… especially in the tub.
But this “water resistant” quality also means it can stain fabric and it can coat the vaginal walls.
Of course, this might be desirable if you are also suffering from vaginal atrophy (thinning of the vaginal walls).
And because it’s a natural food-based lubricant, it’s ideal for oral sex. Although, you or your partner would have to like coconut oil!
Tip: Just remember that oils don’t play nice with latex condoms or silicone sex toys.
Take vitamin E
According to Sara Gottfried, MD…
“Vitamin E at doses of 50-400 IU per day may be the oldest remedy in the book. According to one study, supplementing with vitamin E was shown to increase blood supply to the vaginal wall and improve menopausal symptoms.”
Tip: Use Vitamin E to help with breast pain associated with pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS).
Did you know that you can use adaptogens to help balance, restore and protect the body?
Maca is an adaptogen.
“While maca contains no hormones itself, it provides a rare set of nutrients that nourish the endocrine system and supports the adrenal glands and the thyroid to produce vital hormones in the proper dosages determined by the bodily needs of each individual.” ~ Heidi Fagley (Holistic Nutritionist)
And according to anthropologist Dr. Viana Muller…
“Maca has been used successfully by native people of Peru for hormonal imbalances, menstrual irregularities, fertility, and menopausal symptoms, including hot flashes, vaginal dryness, loss of energy, libido and depression.”
Tip: Take it as a supplement in capsule form or as a powder added to smoothies.
Get estrogen replacement
Estradiol is the most common form of estrogen. Therefore, to determine estrogen levels, test estradiol.
Hormone replacement with bio-identical hormones, in physiological doses, are both safe and effective.
Just confirm that you have low levels and symptoms of low estrogen.
Tip: Don’t use synthetic hormones. Studies have shown synthetic hormones to cause cancer.
Try testosterone therapy
Did you know…
Testosterone is an excellent substitute for estradiol in women.
According to Kathy C. Maupin, MD…
“Because testosterone has fewer side effects and can be taken in the face of some diseases where estradiol is risky, we can use testosterone to treat hot flashes, depression, anxiety, vaginal dryness, and fatigue, even in the absence of estradiol.”
Tip: Only get testosterone therapy from a doctor who specializes in this hormone.
Support your adrenals
Your adrenal glands produce hormones adrenaline, cortisol and pre-cursor hormones that govern the production of our sex hormones, such as estrogen and testosterone.
Stress is a trigger for the production of adrenaline and cortisol.
If there is excessive stress or chronic stress over an extended period of time, your adrenal glands become overextended and become fatigued. Many alternative doctors will recognize adrenal fatigue as a real issue, as opposed to the majority of conventional medical doctors that don’t even recognize that it exists! Which is why, if you seek a regular doctor’s help with a lack of lubrication, they will most often prescribe hormones over addressing your adrenal fatigue (which they don’t believe in).
Adrenal fatigue is when the adrenal glands behave erratically… producing either too little or too much hormone. Both ends of the spectrum aren’t good because we need cortisol to function but excessive amounts of adrenaline are corrosive to the body. And because the adrenal glands take over production of sex hormones after the ovaries have stopped producing eggs, if the adrenals have already been overtaxed, they’re going to affect your production of these much-needed hormones.
Vaginal dryness is often a symptom of adrenal fatigue.
That’s why it can plague younger women as well. And the hormones prescribed for perimenopause and menopause work because they are steroids that prompt the adrenals to do more. Thereby bringing temporary relief of vaginal dryness but also taxing the adrenals further.
Healing your adrenals takes time and an effort to reduce stress in your life. This will require some massive changes to your lifestyle. But the changes you make to reduce stress in your life will ultimately improve your sex life.
A LITTLE TOUGH LOVE…
You need to resolve your vaginal dryness issues if they are a problem for you.
Adequate lubrication is essential for pleasurable sex.
It is your responsibility to take whatever means is necessary to ensure that.
Your pleasure and happiness are at stake here!
- Have your blood levels checked if you suspect you have a hormone deficiency.
- Go to a health food store or pharmacy to acquire the necessary supplements.
- Go to a sex store to get yourself some lubricant.
FYI: You can buy lubricant online and at grocery stores.
Don’t let embarrassment supersede your sexual satisfaction and overall well-being.
You should ALWAYS have a lubricant on hand. No excuses!
Vaginal dryness can occur in any woman at any time in her life.
Therefore, you should always have lubricant nearby… and then make sure to use it!
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