Probably not. You see, most women don’t realize that their low libido is partly due to their over-booked lifestyle. A lifestyle that isn’t conducive to a great sex life.
All work and no play means you’re too tired, too stressed, and too overwhelmed to want sex. Not to mention that there’s no time to have it.
When all you do is go, go, go and push, push, push, you’re eventually going to run out of steam. Burnout is not pretty and it’s certainly not sexy. Believe me.
When there’s no BALANCE in your life, you eventually hit a wall. And guess what? The wall doesn’t give way. In fact, it hurts like a MOFO when you hit it.
Been there, done that.
What does your lifestyle look like?
Maybe you work and you’re trying to juggle that and a house and after-school activities for the kids, working out, eating well, and so on.
Or you’re a stay-at-home mom and you’re taking care of the kids all day, volunteering and doing ALL the chores because you are at home.
Sounds perfectly normal, right? Except that there’s no time for you or your sex life.
That’s because the chores and the responsibilities are never-ending. There’s always more laundry. You have to keep buying groceries. Your child probably needs help with their homework. There’s always something.
But does that something ever include sex? Does your sex life make it onto your list?
What’s a sex life, you ask? Yeah… I believe I’ve just made my point.
You see, I was like YOU before. Always so busy. Too busy to enjoy my life and certainly too busy to relax and enjoy my husband.
This was my old lifestyle
Kids were well taken care of, well-dressed and well-behaved. House was beautifully decorated and was magazine-cover-ready at all times. Meals were gourmet and everything was made from scratch. Oh, and I raised orchids… about 300 of them… which required re-potting twice a year. Do the math. My garden beds were without weeds. The house was spotless. I volunteered at my kids’ school. I got in my workouts. Wait, there’s more…
Then I went back to cooking school while I designed and built my brand new home at the same time. I stopped volunteering but took up chauffering my kids everywhere and took on cleaning a house that was more than double the size of my last one.
You know how much time is left for sex? None.
Did I even feel like having sex? Not really.
My lifestyle simple didn’t accommodate it.
Stressed. Tired. Exhausted. Not exactly the recipe for a great sex life.
Not. Even. Close.
Did I hit a wall? You better believe it.
Was it fun? Not. At. All.
But I’ve seen the light and I’ve changed my ways. I no longer push myself to the breaking point. It doesn’t serve me.
Instead, my sexuality serves me. Sex is the source of my vitality and bliss. A happy sex life is what will bring you fulfillment and contentment.
That’s why you need to have room for a sex life. Otherwise, you tend not to have one.
Notice that I said to have room, not to make room. The goal is not to do more, but to do less. This way you have the space for sex.
Sex is important to your health, your happiness and your relationship.
How do you change your lifestyle?
Change your priorities
If doing all that other stuff is more important than your relationship, then that’s a decision you are making and one you and your husband have to live with.
I often say…
If sex isn’t on your To Do list, it doesn’t get done… and neither do you!
That’s not just tweet-worthy, but it’s the truth.
You and your sex life should be at the top of your priority list… not at the bottom.
If your list is too long, then you need to shorten the list, not leave out the sex.
Learn to relax.
Get off the hamster wheel. It’s for hamsters. You’re not a hamster.
Being busy all the time doesn’t serve you.
Being stressed kills your libido.
You need to slow down. Take some time to recharge your batteries.
Read a book. Have a bath. Get a massage. Go for a float.
Orgasms should be a daily pleasure ritual.
Not only do they feel good, but they make you more receptive to sex.
Right now you’re probably not that receptive to sex. You’re tense. Your body is tense. You don’t feel sensual.
Self-pleasuring is a great way to re-connect with your body and your sexuality.
Once you start experiencing pleasure, you’ll want to have more of it, and you’ll change your life to accommodate it.
Get more sleep
If a good night’s sleep sounds like a total indulgence to you, then you really have to change your priorities.
Sleep is important.
I used to think I could just sleep when I’m dead. Sure… but I was bringing that day around sooner rather than later with that mindset!
Now sleep is one of my top priorities… just after sex. Sex always comes first… as do I.
Get enough sleep, okay?
Stop caring what others think
A lot of what motivates us to do as much as we do is a sense of obligation, guilt or to impress or please others. That or we’re just trying to keep up with what all the other women are doing.
The other tired, stressed and exhausted women, I might add.
But when you reach a certain point and realize that your sex life is important, all that other “stuff”, well, it’s really not that important.
A woman who’s in touch with her sexuality is confident, happy and fulfilled.
She stops giving a f*ck what everyone else thinks.
She’s found happiness. That’s all that matters.
If you’ve made it this far, please know that I’m trying to spare you the suffering. Not only that, but I’m trying to bring more pleasure into your life.
There needs to be balance between work and play. There needs to be pleasure.
Your sex life can be incredibly satisfying and pleasurable. It really can.
But first, you need to have the space to make it so.
Photo Credit: depositphotos.com/stockasso