Sensuality is experiencing pleasure through your senses.
To embrace your sensuality, you need to slow down.
Doing anything slower allows you to appreciate and enjoy it more.
In a fast-paced world with so many things to do and so many distractions, I invite you to slow down.
Pleasure comes from taking your time. Not from rushing.
Here are 5 reasons why you should slow down:
If you want to make sex more sensual, then you need to slow down.
Sex is meant to be savoured.
Gourmet sex is slow sex. The kind of sex that goes on for hours and leaves you feeling content and fulfilled. Fast food sex is essentially a quickie. Get in, get out.
Here’s the thing…
Speed propels us into the future and doesn’t allow us to experience what is happening right now. When we are focused on the future goal of orgasm, we aren’t being present. And this lack of presence is felt by both of you. Then, when sex is over, neither of you feel satisfied. Instead of being an intimate exchange between lovers, it was a drive-by encounter that was as satisfying as fast food.
But slow sex… ahh…. now we’re talking. More time to kiss, to caress and to relax into your body. That translates into more enjoyment because you have the time to awaken all of your senses and not just the genitals.
Suggestion: Instead of speeding towards orgasm, you let go of the goal of orgasm. Without a goal, there’s no hurry. And when you’re not in a hurry, you can be more present and have more time to enjoy it.
When you slow down, not only is the sex better but so is everything else in your life.
Pleasure can’t be rushed.
Women are rushing through life just trying to get everything done. Unfortunately, even if we get it all done, we likely won’t have enjoyed any of it.
Where’s the pleasure in that?
Did you know that wanting to accomplish something, whatever it is, means that we’re desiring some outcome in the future? In the meantime, we forgo pleasure because we haven’t got time. Goals are wonderful, but the end result of achieving them is a feeling of accomplishment, not of pleasure.
The pleasure is in the journey, not the destination.
Suggestion: Don’t put off pleasure until you’ve reached your goals. Find pleasure in your life today. No matter what you do, if you slow down and pay attention to what you’re doing, you can find pleasure in it.
More balanced hormones
Our bodies are run by hormones that work in harmony with one another.
If one hormone is out of balance, the other hormones are affected.
I think we can all agree that we have enough everyday stress in our lives, right? But when we rush, our bodies perceive it as additional stress. This extra stress dumps extra cortisol (stress hormone) into the body. Extra cortisol that is produced at the expense of progesterone. Progesterone makes you feel relaxed. Therefore, not making enough will make you feel more stressed, leading to a vicious cycle.
Furthermore, stress creates belly fat. More belly fat produces more estrogen. More estrogen produces more belly fat and another vicious cycle. Then we get stressed over our belly fat!
The bottom line is that as long as the body believes it’s under stress, your digestion, your sleep, and your production of sex hormones etc. are all put on standby until the “perceived” threat is over. Depending on how chronic the stress is, the more it negatively affects your hormones.
While there’s a lot of stressors that we can’t control, we can control how we deal with them.
Suggestion: Taking time to pause, before saying or doing anything, can reduce stress. That’s because by slowing down you have time to think first. When you have more time to think, you can make better decisions. Decisions made in haste can often lead to undesirable outcomes and unforeseen consequences that create more stress in your life. Slow down and give yourself the gift of time, if you can.
Rushing or trying to do much leaves us feeling wired.
That’s because cortisol is running through our veins so that we can keep up the pace. Unfortunately, when it’s time to go to sleep, we can’t, because we’re still pumped up with stress hormones. Not only that, but when we’re making cortisol, we’re not making melatonin, and that’s your “sleep hormone.” Basically, melatonin makes you sleepy and cortisol wakes you up. Therefore, if you’re always making cortisol, you’re going to have a hard time getting to sleep.
To add insult to injury, the adrenals get exhausted from producing cortisol all the time and this exhaustion leads to erratic cortisol production. What tends to happen is that you don’t make enough in the daytime and so you crave caffeine and sugar to keep you going, but at night time your cortisol goes into high gear and sleep becomes impossible.
Slowing down will calm you.
When you act calm, your body thinks you aren’t under stress. If you were, you wouldn’t be going slow. Ha! So, slowing down tricks the body into relaxing.
Did you know that you can slow yourself down by slowing down your breathing? Long, deep breaths help to shut off the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) and turn on the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest).
Suggestion: Take some time to meditate and focus on your breath. This will not only force you to slow down but give your adrenals a break. When it’s time to go to bed, have a bedtime ritual that allows for even more slowing down and make sure that your bedroom is the right environment for a good night’s sleep.
When you’re rushing to get in a workout or rushing to get it over with, there’s a greater chance of injury. That’s because…
When you rush, you don’t pay attention.
This means that you’re not paying attention to your form, which muscles are being recruited and possibly not to that little voice in your head that says you’ve done enough.
Have you ever done an extra rep or set or ran that extra mile and then got hurt? Then you later said to yourself: I knew that was going to happen! That’s because you did. Your body tried to tell you, but you weren’t paying attention. Had you slowed down long enough to listen, you would have heard it.
What does an injury have to do with your sex life?
Well, if you have an injury that stops you from being active and fit, and less likely to punch someone when you get all stressy, then it’s affecting your physical and mental health, not to mention your self-confidence.
All of this affects your overall well-being, which directly affects your mood, and your desire to have sex.
In addition, pain and discomfort from an injury aren’t exactly aphrodisiacs either.
Suggestion: Give yourself time to exercise. If you don’t have time, do less or don’t do it. Slow, controlled movement with fewer reps is better than more of them without proper focus. In fact, doing any exercise slowly allows for more awareness and a better mind-body connection.
Stay tuned for my next blog:
The Sexy Woman’s Guide To Exercise
AND JUST REMEMBER…
“Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.” ~ Mae West
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