Your bedroom should be your private space… to be used for sleep and sex only… and that’s it!
Anything more than that, and you could be impacting your quality of sleep, your overall happiness, and even your sex life!
You need to treat your bedroom as a special place… a sanctuary.
A place of refuge from the rest of the world and from all the stresses of life.
A kid-free zone. A work-free zone. A place to de-stress, to enjoy intimacy with your partner and a room you look forward to spending time in.
Unfortunately, most people are using their bedroom for multiple functions… as an office, as an exercise area (I’m not referring to sex here) or as a dumping ground for all their crap. Yes, I’m talking to you!
I’m sure that most men can sleep and have sex anywhere… undistracted by the mess and clutter in the bedroom… but most women can’t. That’s because we’re multi-taskers and doers.
Nothing wrong with that, but it does tend to get in the way of our ability to live in the moment, make time for ourselves, and enjoy a fulfilling sex life. Not to mention that it stresses us out!
If your bedroom is in chaos, then it will be hard to unwind and sleep there. It will also be hard to relax and enjoy pleasure there.
That’s because the mess will be a visual reminder of your ongoing To Do list. That never-ending list of chores and routines. Ugh!
It’s time that you put your health, wellness and happiness at the top of your priority list.
Here are some tips to create the perfect oasis:
Remember what I said about the mess? It needs to go. Remove anything that doesn’t need to be in your bedroom. Then for the rest of it, follow the old adage: a place for everything, and everything in its place. And be sure to make your bed every day!
Keep your bedroom clean and tidy by regularly dusting, vacuuming, washing your bedding and putting things away. If you keep on top of it, it will never become overwhelming.
Create a comfortable environment.
That means proper blinds and/or blackout curtains so you get quality sleep. Have a comfortable mattress. If you are sleeping on an old or lumpy one, see if you can afford to splurge on a new one. It is an investment, but totally worth it. And soft and silky sheets are a joy to be in, so try to get the best quality bedding you can afford. You deserve it.
Have the necessities nearby.
An extra blanket. Some extra pillows. These are a great way to make your room cozy. If you have the space for a beautiful storage bench at the end of your bed, store these inside of it. If you don’t, then have them on display on your bed. Just don’t go crazy with the extra pillows. Been there, done that!
You don’t need to have a lot, but you do need to have the basics.
- A bed. Queen size for sure, and king size if you can manage.
- Nightstands. For either side of your bed.
- A dresser and/or chest of drawers. Not everything can be hung up in the closet, so this is where you will store your folded items. Clothing that will be neatly folded, by the way!
- A bench or ottoman. This gives you a place to sit down or to set out clothes for the next day. It can also serve as another surface to have sex on. Just saying.
A variety of lighting.
You need to have a few different kinds of light sources depending on your needs.
- Lamps. On your nightstand for reading in bed. Try to get the kind with 3 wattage settings.
- Overhead light. For use as general lighting and to see when you enter the room. It should be on a dimmer switch so that the brightness can be lowered.
- Candles. These are not only romantic, but they are a very soft form of illumination and very relaxing too.
Even if you don’t have kids, you should always have a lock on your bedroom door. Nobody wants to be worried about their MIL dropping by unannounced and walking into your room when you are “busy” in there.
You can go one step further and put a Do Not Disturb sign on your door. Just like the ones they have at a hotel. That will let people on the other side know when you are not to be disturbed.
Consider a noise machine. It will keep the outside noises from bothering you and the inside noises being heard from outside of your room. Now you can be totally uninhibited!
Some extra goodies.
Humidifiers, aromatherapy dispensers, music, and sex toys (I had to throw that in there), can all help to make your room a more enjoyable place to be.
Maybe even some luxury items.
If you have space and can afford it, a gorgeous chandelier, a romantic fireplace and a reading chair would be great. The fireplace can be electric and hung on the wall. There are lots of options out there. A great romantic addition to your sex life as well as for keeping you warm at night.
Now that I’ve told you what you WANT to have in your bedroom, let me tell you what NOT to have there:
No Distractions. This includes electronics of any kind. There shouldn’t be a computer/laptop or an iPad. The only exceptions would be a phone (so long as you can turn the ringer off) and a TV (but ONLY if it is unobtrusive and used for watching the occasional porn together or for having it on The Fireplace Channel).
Otherwise, no TV! Electronics don’t just keep you up at night, but they can interfere with your sex life!
No paperwork or bills. This falls under the “de-clutter” part mentioned above, but it requires a second mention. Your bedroom is not where you work on your income tax or scroll over your credit card bill. That will only stress you out.
You want your mind focused on pleasure and relaxation… not on your electric bill.
No toys or stuffed animals. These are representations of children. Remember, this is a retreat, not a toy store or a playroom (well at least not the kid-variety!). It’s not meant to be kid-friendly, it’s meant to be adult-friendly. Be firm on this.
Anything that isn’t beautiful. As a previous interior designer, I am a firm believer that you should surround yourself with beautiful things. If you hate your current dresser because it’s chipped and worn and the drawers stick, then replace it. Who wants to wake up every morning and look at something ugly?
Make your happiness a priority. Take the time and make your bedroom the most important room in your home.
Without a proper night’s sleep, and a beautiful place to be intimate with your partner, life just isn’t going to be as enjoyable.
Design Credit: Tara Dudley Interiors