Whoever said that sex is for men, only had it half right, because sex for women is just as important. In fact, your sexuality is your life force, so if you’re not using it, you’re losing it!
Here’s why sex is important for women:
Sex is a source of pleasure
Pleasure is something I believe that most women are lacking in. That’s because we’re too busy to make time for it or we feel guilty about wanting it. We take care of everyone else but not ourselves. This can lead to resentment and burnout.
We need pleasure to feel good.
And pleasure from great sex… is the very best kind.
“Pleasure is a divine gift to us. It should be a discipline practiced regularly to establish happiness and joy in your body and your life.” ~ Christiane Northrup, M.D.
Suggestion: Change your mindset. I invite you to stop thinking that sex is for HIM. Sex is for YOU… and him. If you approach sex as if it were something to be enjoyed, instead of another chore on your To Do list, you might find it more pleasurable.
It’s the most intimate way to connect with your partner
Women believe that men are more interested in sex than intimacy. I’m sure some are, but most men want to experience intimacy as well. Sex is just how they go about doing that.
Men need sex to feel love and affection. Women need to feel heard and cared for to feel love and affection. The irony is that without that connection, women stop wanting sex. Without sex, men can’t provide that connection. See the dilemma?
The problem is that a lot of women go into sex thinking that this is all he’s after, so she doesn’t give herself totally when she has sex with him. She gives her body, but not her presence. She is there in flesh, but not in spirit. Therefore, he never really gets that connection that he desires. So he asks for more sex in the hopes that the next time he’ll get it. So the more she rejects him, the more he will push for sex. Unfortunately, this only furthers her belief that all he wants her for is sex.
If you want intimacy, then sex is the answer.
That’s because it provides the means for both sides to achieve intimacy.
“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it’s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you’re a part of them.” ~ Thom York
Suggestion: Stop having obligatory sex. It’s not what he wants and both of you end up having sex without the intimacy. Instead, try to aim for consensual sex with the understanding that it serves you as much as him. Then be open and receptive to him when making love. He will know the difference and feel that connection with you. In return, you will feel it from him. Try it.
It’s an opportunity to get out of your head and into your body
We spend entirely too much time thinking. We focus on doing instead of being.
The best sex comes from being totally present in the here and now. That means no thinking about the grocery list or that email you forgot to send.
Happiness is being in the moment.
“If you’re not finding pleasure in the here and now, you’re not doing it right—you’re bringing too much of the past or too much of the future into the now and you are messing up your vibration.” ~ Abraham Hicks
When we can focus on sex with our partner, to the exclusion of all else, we can enter a state of bliss.
You can also meditate or go for a float, but sex is the most pleasurable way of doing it! Refer back to point #1 about pleasure. 🙂
Suggestion: Treat sex as meditation. An opportunity to be fully present in your body. Many cultures believe that sex is the way to enlightenment. Having experienced sexual bliss myself, I can honestly agree with them.
Sex gives you energy and vitality
Sex is a part of us. We are born from it and we can never be completely separated from it.
If we deny our sexuality, we are dimming our own light.
Certain Eastern spiritual traditions… such as Tantra and Taoism… not only embrace sexuality but cultivate sexual energy in order to empower the body and boost health.
“Sexual energy is nourishment for the totality of ourselves— the body, the mind, and the spirit.” ~ Mantak Chia
Suggestion: Consider your sexuality as a renewable source of energy… because it is. In fact, it’s the fountain of youth. If you want to look and feel sexy and radiant, then have sex. They don’t call it an “afterglow” for nothing!
It’s good for your health
Most people know that a proper diet and exercise are necessary for good health, but sex is also good for you.
Sex produces feel-good hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine, that make you feel better. It also involves your nervous system (the body’s electrical wiring) and your cardiovascular system (your heart and blood vessels), which can help to keep them running smoothly. And arousal during sex sends extra blood to the genitals. This blood flow is necessary to get and maintain erections in men, but also to promote vaginal lubrication in women.
A healthy body can mean better sex, but having sex can ensure a healthier body.
When we have sex regularly, our sexual function doesn’t atrophy. It’s no different than exercise in that way. If we stop using a muscle, it starts to wither away. And wither is not a term we want to be associated with our genitals, right?
Suggestion: Instead of saying: “I need to be in shape before I can have sex.” — consider that having sex might make you more likely to take care of your body. When you have a fulfilling sex life, you’ll want to be healthy to enjoy more of it.
A healthy body is a sexy body… and vice versa.
Sex can and should be, pleasurable, passionate, uplifting, transformative and fulfilling. If it isn’t, let’s work on making it better.
Your sexuality starts with you, and when you embrace it, a whole new world will open up to you.
Photo Credit: istock.com/LuckyBusiness
If you want to start enhancing your sensuality and increasing your sexual vitality, check out my free 3-part video series: