I think that the seduction between a woman and a man is the epitome of sensuality. It allows a woman to express her femininity and for a man to express his masculinity.
Seduction is like a dance, as I will explain, but first, let’s start with the standard definition:
According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, to seduce is:
1: to persuade to disobedience or disloyalty
2: to lead astray usually by persuasion or false promises
3: to carry out the physical seduction of: to entice to sexual intercourse
I don’t know about you, but that sounds mostly negative to me! I believe it has been given this negative connotation because it speaks to the power that women can have over men… and they don’t like it!
In addition, the term has been so sexualized that it comes across more like manipulation and less as something that both parties can enjoy partaking in. That’s unfortunate because then we all miss out.
I believe that a man who is aligned with his true masculinity will not be intimidated by a woman who’s in touch with her natural femininity. In fact, he will be drawn to her sensuality and enjoy it.
Whether you are currently in a relationship or are trying to find a partner, the art of seduction is sort of like a game that you “play” together.
Seduction is a dance… like the Tango or the Rumba.
The Tango is beautifully described by Dr. Christianne Northrup, as…
“an earthy dance that blends male and female energy in a moving meditation in which both partners move as one.”
I think that sounds wonderfully sensual.
If you treat seduction, as if it were the Tango, then it becomes an interaction that “allows a man and woman the opportunity to both give and receive exquisite pleasure.”
Of course, Dr. Northrup’s quote refers to the actual Tango here, but I think it’s analogous to the pleasure that both can receive by embracing their sensuality.
The Rumba is another type of dance that tells a story of love and passion between a strong, male lover and a coy, teasing woman. Full of sensual movements, the Rumba has been described as “a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.”
Now THAT sounds sexy!
According to dance expert Treva Bedinghaushe,
“The rumba is a very slow, serious, romantic dance with flirtation between the partners”. It has “a teasing theme in which the lady flirts with and then rejects her male partner, often with apparent sexual aggression. The Rumba spotlights the lady’s rhythmic body movements and hip actions resulting in intense, almost steamy, scenes of passion.”
Sign me up!
So what does this have to do with seduction?
I believe that couples who literally, and figuratively, “dance” together, can keep their relationship full of passion and excitement.
What I like about the dance analogy is the way it correlates with the natural chemistry between a man and a woman. That’s because sexual energy is created by the dynamic force of the man and the receptive force of the woman. And this sexual energy is further increased by the woman’s display of being “hard to get”.
You may not appreciate this interpretation, but I feel that it’s precisely this polarity between a man and woman that needs to be emphasized.
How do we apply the art of seduction in our everyday lives?
Chen Lizra, who gave a TED talk on seduction, says that “there are four components of mastering seduction: desire, confidence, body language and arousal.”
Let’s break them down:
Can be defined as a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen or as a strong sexual feeling or appetite.
If you’re not afraid to go after what you want, you’ll not only be likely to succeed, but you’ll become irresistible in the process.
SUGGESTION: Don’t be afraid to show your man how much you desire him. Ask him for what you want. Tell him how much you want him. Tell him what you want him to do to you.
Desire requires action, so you need to ask for what you want!
To seduce another you need to be confident in yourself. Many women don’t necessarily feel confident, but it’s not just about your looks.
Most men would agree that a woman’s confidence is what makes her sexy.
If you don’t think you have it, then “fake it until you make it” but be fearless in charming the pants off your man (pun intended).
To improve confidence, you need to work on competency.
Competency is just practice.
The more you do something, the better you get at it. The better you get at it, the more confidence you will have.
SUGGESTION: Make eye contact. Lack of eye contact can lead others to believe that you lack confidence. Show them otherwise!
You can also dress the part and wear lingerie that makes you feel sexy.
Body language uses non-verbal communication to convey a message.
This can be done in many ways…
- You can get physically close to him.
- Touch him or hug him.
- You can touch yourself.
- Touching your own lips, hair, hips, and thighs, are all alluring to men, because it draws their attention to those areas.
- Make eye contact.
- Tilt your head.
- Face your body towards them.
These are all signs of interest… and interest makes a person feel desirable.
And who doesn’t want to feel desirable?
Arousal comes before desire, but they can feed on each other.
To fuel desire, you need to find out what turns your partner on, and then do it!
It could mean…
Wearing a beautiful dress or some sexy lingerie, letting them watch you undress, or even giving them a sensual massage.
Whatever it is, the idea is to discover what they want, and then give it to them.
Arousing your partner will create desire, and that desire will then be bestowed upon you, and subsequently arouse you.
Not a bad vicious cycle!
In addition, I think that we need to add another component to seduction and that is your…
Seduction works by highlighting the differences between a man and a woman.
Men love the chase and women want to be chased.
When a man pursues a woman, she becomes the object of his desire. At a woman’s core, she wants to feel desirable.
The harder she is to get, the more he wants her. And it’s worth mentioning that the more he wants her, the more desirable she will feel.
But you can’t just roll over and play dead. You have to make him earn it.
That’s why seduction is like a game.
Then, when you do submit, his masculinity will be corroborated by the fact that despite your reluctance, you eventually succumbed to his charms.
SUGGESTION: Don’t perceive this as a weakness. It’s not a war of the sexes, so surrendering is not a sign of defeat. Instead, see it as you getting what you want while simultaneously giving him what he wants.
When you can dance together like that, you have mastered the art of seduction!
Photo Credit: Source Unknown